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fat boy running

"A man must love a thing very much if he not only
practices it without any hope of fame and money, but
even practices it without any hope of doing it well."


Trailwalker 2002

Happily sitting in my little world in Gerringong on the South Coast, I was reading my emails when along comes one from Thomas Lenzenhofer saying that they were looking for a team member for the trailwalker in 2 weeks time. I had doubts since my longest run to date was the Six Foot Track but what the hell - what’s the worst that could happen??

I emailed back with my willingness.

The 24th of May arrives and we meet for breakfast at Thomas’. Support cars and drop bags needed to be delivered to Paul Every who was going to be our night support.

With an intention to get to the starting area by 8am a call comes through from Dave Flimpyhead at 9am saying that he was having trouble remembering where Paul lived in order to drop the stuff off! Panic sets in – maybe we’re not even going to make the start, let alone the finish. Dave arrives back – gear safely delivered and telling us in his usual unruffled manner - “Relax, there is plenty of time”.

And so there was….we got there, registered and even had a chance to talk with some other teams.

Our initial plan was to get near the start and run like hell to get past slower groups. We moved up the start. There was a countdown and with a holler we were all off. The pace started like it was a 10km run. The weather was OK but it had been raining and was going to again real soon. The track was muddy but nice and easy.

Check point one – they rudely laughed at our name (no doubt trying to shake our confidence!). We were through quickly and away. Then the rain started. I thought of the line from Forest Gump “one day it started raining and did not stop for 3 months”

We ran and ran and then the crowd was gone, a group passed us but as they tried to tip toe around a stream we decided that we were already wet so Lawrence and I just ploughed through which of course invited some smart arse comments about how tough we were. We were then all alone….. we ran on.

The second check point came quickly. I did not have a watch thinking that this would stop me from focussing on the time and consequently stress out. We ate and Thomas changed his shoes. Apparently we were ahead of schedule.

Getting to CP 3 was pretty easy and went quickly. As we got there to check in, Thomas popped into the porta loo. While the check people were again laughing at our team name Dave told them that our forth member was busy with the supply of our delivery item. A moment later Thomas came out of the loo looking tired and confused which amused the check people no end.

Leading out from CP 3 we saw the Billy Bushies. We got excited and, in hindsight, made some premature remarks as to our fitness levels as we passed them. At the first hill we watched as they went past us way too easily.

I was busy eating jellybeans and with all my focus on this I managed to hit a tree root and fell over in an ‘arms everywhere’ sprawl (no jellybeans were harmed). Dave turned around with a look of absolute worry and made sure I was ok. This is the good part of being a team.

Checkpoint 4 came. We had previously decided to make it quick, however there had to be a change of gear since from 4 to 5 would have us in the dark and our support car would change - Paul taking over from Melvin, who did a great job looking after us through the day. Well the plan was to be quick but sitting inside a tent eating chips seemed much more appealing.

CP 4 to CP 5 was long and for the first time we started to feel tired. There now seemed to be heaps of other groups around us - up to now it seemed we were the only group out there. Night fell as we moved down to Galston Gorge, the climb down there was without a headlamp and a bit scary. At the bottom we stopped and got the headlamps on. We hit the stairs with a group of girls close behind. The girls soon got sick of our scaredy boy nighttime speed and overtook us. Our macho ness was hurt but we quickly recovered when they got lost and we caught up. In the dark we nearly lost Dave when he fell down a hole but he managed to pull himself up to keep ploughing on.

In what seemed like forever we finally hit CP 5. Paul and Dianne were there, gave us some great vegetarian pasta and there was a bit of feet fixing. I put on some dry socks. Lawrence never seemed to need anything and by the time the rest of us were dicking around with our gear he had eaten and was ready to go. Every stop Dave and Thomas put their jackets on. Then as soon as we started again the inevitable came - “I’m boiling I got to take my jacket off” - it was our routine.

One minute on the track I went deep into a puddle. So much for my dry socks. On the trail I followed Lawrence, just mindlessly staring at his shoes, trudging on. We then stopped and looked back and could not see Thomas or Dave so we waited. I suggested to Lawrence that we turn our lights off and hide in the bush and scare the crap out of them. So we did. I was only thinking of a mild scare but as Dave came around the corner Lawrence let out an intense scream which I think may have changed the colour of Dave’s pants. Later when his heart rate came down he could see the humour. Then to finish off this section we had to climb the biggest hill in the world.

CP 6, Paul and Dianne had got us vego pizza and red wine. We sat around the car and ate the best pizza ever. I will never eat pizza that good, just sitting wet cold and now very tired in the rain. As we sat and indulged the FART team boys went past. I was too delirious with pizza pleasure to know what they said.

We started running again, I did not really feel like running but after a minute you got used to it. A minute into the trail and time for our routine jacket change. We started down a long down hill that really hurt the quads, it snaked around the water, which was scary and then up a hill at the end. I seemed to like going up the hills, it made my legs and feet feel better than they had been. We hit the next CP and ate some more pizza. The CP was in a community centre so we decided to sit down and enjoy some hot coffee. Dave put his feet into plastic bags to try to keep them dry. They were quite a sight, runners with the toes cut out and plastic bags. As he sat there in his modified shoes and a blanket around him I had to say that there is a fine line between an ultra runner and a vagrant.

I think we stayed too long for when we went back to the car and did some gear fixing it got cold, real cold. In fact, I have never felt that cold. I started to shake and could not stop. We were all the same. Lawrence could not stand there anymore and took off, we all started to run up the hill trying to get warm again. It worked. Dave was moving like he was really hurting and my feet were starting to tell me that they were not liking being wet all the time. For Lawrence and Thomas, chafing was becoming an issue. Lawrence was adopting the running style of a rodeo cowboy.

It was not too bad to CP 8 - we even overtook a team and started calling ourselves “Team Speed”. Had a brief moment near the fire and learning from our last stop did not linger. The climbs from 8 to 9 were not to bad and we were at 9. There were a few guys in there and I noticed the St John’s guys doing some feet fixing. It was kind of heartening to know that we were not alone in our pain. Paul told us that he would meet us at a spot near the train station to save us a walk. I think we must have been looking very sad because Paul and Dianne really looked after us. Paul filled my camel back, Dianne put a blanket over me and then as I put vasoline on my sore feet Paul stood there while I leaned on him.

I think now I understand what it is like to be broken down to just the basic elements. My only thought was to get warm and keep moving. We all must have been in the same mindset as we all donned tights and jackets, rugged up and moved on.

I was told that when the sun came up I would feel fantastic. Well it did and I didn’t! I complained about this false advertising. As I walked at the back looking at someone’s shoes I started to fall asleep. This was not good since there was the water very close below but I could not shake it. I ate and it helped. We hit this hill and just plodded up, so slow but always forward. Just to the top, then a fire trail for a few more km and we would be finished.

My feet were now so tender that every step hurt. Dave looked like his had hurt for so long that his brain had stop taking the calls from them. We got to the top and Thomas and Lawrence said, “If we run we will get there faster”. Dave was quite clear that running just was not physically possible. I was happy with this since I was not that sure if I could either. Thomas could not control his desire to get to the end, so he took off. I slotted into a pace that was comfortable and right behind me was Dave and Lawrence.

The last stretch was not fun but we hit the road. Went past a shop from which emerged Paul, Dianne and our team member Thomas. We all strode toward to the finish. Around the last corner and there it was. We ran the last 10m and it was done. We got dry and warm and then all stopped at a shop for some food and some quiet debriefing.

It was not until later that day as I sat on my lounge did I realise how amazing it all was. I still feel proud of myself for doing it but without the support of Melvin, Paul and Dianne at the checkpoints and without Lawrence, Dave and Thomas and their support in between I would never have made it. Of course, we also made some money for a worthy cause.

I think Dave summed it up earlier when he said,

“it’s only a day of your life, but you will always remember it”.
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